Wednesday, 25 June 2014

30 Day Blogging Challenge // Day 25. Your Biggest Regret


Ah, unfortunately i have a few. I wish i could live a life without them but that's just not the case. I was young once and my god i made some mistakes so i best get them out in the open, might make me feel a bit better.

1. Sully ( my friend who i mentioned in my 20 facts about me post ) tragically died from Leukemia which he battled against for 15 months. Although i spent pretty much every day by his side, i still had so much more to tell him before he passed away and one of those things was that i loved him and i was thankful for the 19 years of friendship he had given me. I also regret that he isn't around to see his beautiful daughter Casey growing up, or to meet Carl. Before he died, he told me that i had to find myself a decent bloke who would look after me until the day i died, i have and he isn't around to see that for himself. More so, i regret that due to me having a health condition at the time and not being a direct relative, i was unable to donate bone marrow that could have saved him, that still haunts me to this day.

2. I also mentioned that my dear dad passed away a month after Sully, very suddenly. Me and my dad were so alike and used to fight like cat and dog but i loved him so much and i never got the chance to tell him that before he died. I'm so greatful that he got the opportunity to be a grandad and watched Sarah grow up for 4 years but i regret that he isn't around to see her now, all grown up and about to start secondary school. I miss him an undescribable amount. 

3. I do regret the day i started smoking. I was 13, on holiday in Greece with my parents and my mum asked me to throw her tab end over the balcony. Curiosity got the better of me and i gave it a try and i was smoking from then up until last year. I can't imagine how bad i smelt and how much money i wasted on it.

4. I so wish i had met Carl sooner, we've both said it..well he said it first haha. My god i have had my share of bad relationships with men that didn't deserve me. I regret that i didn't meet Carl sooner but thank god i have him now and i can spend the rest of my life with him making up for the years we didn't have each other.

5. When i was with my daughters biological dad, i stupidly let him force me into getting a tattoo with his name on. I fucking hate it but i was under a lot of pressure from him to do it and when you are in a violent relationship, you fear the reaction if you don't do what they want. I was once tempted to get a razor blade and physically cut away the flesh so the tattoo would go. But when i have saved up enough money, i am getting it lasered off, thank god it's only small.

Hopefully i will never have any more regrets in my life. A life filled with regret, isn't worth living.


2 comments:

  1. Having regrets sucks but I guess we all have them! They make us who we are I guess, it's so nice that you feel you can share this kinda stuff with your readers

    Jade x
    Beauty Butterfly | UK Beauty Blog

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    Replies
    1. Yeah it does feel good to be able to talk about my own rather than dealing with other peoples. Feels like shit knowing i have regrets i'm not happy about it but c'est la vie

      xx

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