Thursday, 4 December 2014

On The Fourth Day Of Blogmas - Bah Humbug! // Blogmas 2014



When i see people filled with a vomit inducing amount of festive cheer and oozing more than the Christmas spirit (usually in the form of Eggnog), i do get a little jealous because i wish that i could be like them. Don't get me wrong, i love Christmas but it also drives me insane. But what is it about this magical time of year that gets me so angry? Well...

Months of preperation for 12 hours of madness

If you are one of the fortunate people who have Christmas all prepared for you, and all you have to do is buy a couple of presents and throw on your best festive jumper then i envy you. As a responsible adult and parent, i have to start writing list upon list well in advance. My Christmas starts in September and all the way from then until Christmas eve, i'm more stressed than a Bernard Matthews Turkey. And what do i get for all of this hard work?

.....12 hours of madness

That's it! Those months of none stop present and food buying, wrapping, preparing my liver and stomach only to give me back a few hours of crazyness before normality is restored. It's not fair!

Would you like a mince pie/pork pie/chocolate/nuts/marzipan fruit/turkey sandwich?

Why does your family, especially your parents or grandparents insist on offering you every festive treat in the pantry from the time you shovel in the last mouthful of turkey, up until you crawl into bed? Where does this compulsive need to feed up your relatives on Christmas day come from? My mum is a bugger for it, i'll be sat down minding my own business when she will ask me if i want any turkey, i'll say no but then 10 minutes later she'll ask me if i'd like some fruit?! Mother i love you but i'm nursing a big enough food baby right now, please...no more food!!!!

Essay filled Christmas cards

Christmas cards are something that i can't really avoid because i feel compelled to write them. But as if it wasn't bad enough having to write them, but to receive them and find that the sender has written a bloody essay inside. If you have so much to tell me, why not pick up the phone and tell me when it happens? I have had cards like this where they've written a long winded story about something that happened to them in February, that was 10 months ago! What, have you only just found your pen? Or was your card looking so damn boring, you felt the need to write me a bloody novel? Good god!

 


   

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