Tuesday, 7 June 2016

What To Do When It’s Just Not Working Anymore: Dealing With Family Breakups


I’m what I would call very lucky. I’ve got a wonderful partner who I adore and a happy family. However, not everyone is so lucky. Quite a few of my friends and relatives have gone through family breakups in the past few years. It was hard for them at the time, but admittedly, they’re much happier now. As are their children.

Today, one in two serious relationships end in a breakup. That’s why I thought that today, I would talk about what to do when your relationship just isn’t working anymore. Family breakups are incredibly hard, but sometimes they’re for the best. If you’re having doubt about whether your relationship is made to last, here’s what you need to know.

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It will be hard but also very worth it

There’s no way around it; breakups are always hard. Even more so when children are involved. Breaking up with someone you’ve been in a serious relationship with is never going to be easy, but if it’s what’s best for you, then it’s worth it. Don’t let the fact that it will be hard put you off, be brave and do what you have to. There might be a few rubbish weeks where your life feels like it’s been turned upside down but you will get back on track again.

Understand that the kids may struggle

Whether your partner is your child’s biological parent or a step-parent, they will struggle with your breakup. Family breakups are always hard for children. Especially, when they leave them feeling uncertain about their future. Breakups are scary because kids worry about where they’ll live, what will change, and who they’ll get to see. If it’s a step-parent that you’re breaking up with, often children panic that they won’t get to see their step-parent. Your children may react to the news of the breakup with anger, sadness or disbelief, all of these reactions are normal.

Get help

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It’s tempting to put off getting the professionals involved when it comes to family breakups as this makes it more real. But if you want to get things sorted as quickly as possible, it’s worth getting some professional help. If you’re married, then getting in touch with a divorce solicitor is a good idea. If not but you share a home and children, it might be worth getting in touch with a family mediator. This will make talking through who gets what and child custody, that little bit easier.

Be as fair as possible

When it comes to breakups, the most important thing is to be as fair as possible. Regardless of the reason behind the split, it’s still important to be fair with your ex-partner. Not only for yourself but also for the sake of your children. If it’s their house you’re living in, offer to move out. If it’s somewhere that you moved into together, sit down with them and work out what the best option is. Don’t use the kids as weapons, be fair when it comes to custody. Your partner deserves to spend time with them as much as you do.

Breakups are never easy, but if it’s what you want, then it’s worth it. You can’t stay with someone if you’re unhappy, no matter what. It might be hard at first but in the long run, you’ll be happier for it.


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