Thursday, 8 September 2016

Kids And Divorce: Starting The Conversation

No matter how hard we try to make a marriage work, sometimes separation is the best and only option. Once the decision has been made, it’s crucial that you discuss getting divorced with your children. This isn’t an easy conversation to start and many parents put it off for as long as they possibly can. But as painful as it might be, the sooner you tell your kids, the easier it will be for them to cope with the news. So if you and your partner want to be open with your children about your separation but don’t know how follow these simple steps.

Choose the right time

As soon as you talk about your divorce, your child will feel vulnerable and upset. So it’s crucial that you choose the right time and environment to share this life-changing news. Avoid bringing up the subject before they go to school or bed. Instead, choose a day when you can be together as a family and not limited with time. This is not a conversation that should be rushed or mentioned in passing. It’s also always better to share this news at home where your child won’t be embarrassed about getting upset or angry.

Simplify the details

While it’s good to give some details to your kids about what your divorce will entail, don’t overwhelm them. Speak in an age appropriate manner and only divulge the details they really need to know about. Talk to them about your new living arrangements and how they will divide their time between the two of you. This is something you and your partner need to discuss at length before talking to your children.

If you haven’t already, look for experienced solicitors who specialise in family law such as Lennons Solicitors. Not only can they help you get the divorce process started but they can also give you advice on talking to your kids.

Be prepared for questions

Once you’ve shared the news of your divorce, you need to be prepared for a whole host of questions from your children. These can range from questions about what a divorce is to why you’ve come to this decision. Your child may also be concerned about birthdays and how they are going to get to school each day. So before you start the conversation about divorce, you should think about how you are going to answer these questions. You can seek advice from your solicitor or talk to other parents who have gone through a divorce previously. It’s important that there is cohesion between yours and your partner's answers to these questions. This will show them that your decision was a mutual one and that trust can still be maintained.

Remember that even though you know that a divorce is the most sensible solution, your kids might not see it at way at all. While some kids will accept and adjust easily, others may feel resentment or start acting out. Encourage them to share their feelings and provide reassurance and support throughout.

1 comment:

  1. That is very right! I support your point of view. Talking about problems with divorce, I cannot avoid the problem that very often people afraid asking about the mental and law support. I have just read about it in Pibujornal
    And yes, sometimes a good lawyer can prevent a stressful situation.


I love reading your comments, i'll always reply so write as many or as few as you like :) It's always good to talk